It doesn't have to be played during this over-commercialised excuse for conglomerate SuperCorps to make even more money, but it'll certainly fit a lot better.
It's the week before Valentines, and the office is abuzz with excitement. Mainly because the new intern, Sarah Sweaterpuppies, has recently (and very publicly) become single.
With her "Pale Skinned Brunette" looks, ridiculously impractical choices of office attire, and relative easy-ness, she's the prime candidate for many a man's (and quite a few women's) affections.
Now, the race is on to get her out for a romantic Valentine's Meal - but who will win?
Players should make a selection of average office-worker types (though the setting can be changed to anything from a school, the Space Commando Training Barracks, to a retirement home for extra added Funny Old People). Each players has to not only attempt to win Ms. Sweaterpuppies' affections, but also fend off the other competitors.
This will lead to lots of player-on-player Conflict - so, make the most of it!
Suggestions For Characters and Cliches
The Genius Slacker - the guy who is ridiculously talented in one aspect of operations, but has little drive to do anything but play Minesweeper or ogle co-workers while manning the coffee machine.
Cliches: Stupidly Talented/Ridiculously Bored IT Tech, Last One In and First To Leave, The Diet of KINGS (JOLT Cola and Cheetos)
The Ruthless Businessman - the guy who'd do anything to make a quick buck. Expect to see him flogging his own granny, your soul, anything to meet his targets and climb that corporate ladder.
Cliches: Acolyte of Gordon Gekko, Armani-Wearing Corporate Shark, Mean Streak a Mile Wide
The Lothario - the office man-slut. Nearly every girl in the office has had a drunken Christmas Party fumble with this guy.
Cliches: Knows What The Ladies Like, Treat 'Em Mean and Keep 'Em Keen, Sex-God in Slacks
The Hopeless Romantic - the slightly nebbish, underweight, overworked copy-boy (with the looks of a young male model) who's normally a shoe-in for "Protagonist" in these sorts of movies.
Cliches: A-dork-able Teenager, Heavily Overstretched Copy Boy, Makes a Mean Coffee
The Goth Chick - the girl who dresses outrageously at the weekends, and allows some spillover when she's in the office - tattoos peek out over the collar of her blouse, there's more piercings in her ears than most people have on their entire bodies, etc.
Cliches: Lovecraft and Witch-Hearts, Surprisingly Competent Goth Lab Tech, Can Out-Drink a Moose
Of course,these are just suggestions - feel free to twist, add and remove from them as you wish!
Now, there will be a few challenges faced by the players:
- The first will be their co-workers. You might all work in the same cubicle farm, but that doesn't make you friends. Players can roll against each other to try and stop schemes, plots, and generally do anything they can to one-up each other. A sample conflict might be buying gifts and leaving notes - in the first round, one player might buy flowers, only to find the card swapped at the last minute with a message reading "Sorry your dog died :( " (picture her face when she sees you craning your neck to see her reaction to that), or their flowers swapped out with a far more expensive bouquet from another suitor. In the second round, they might get their gift to her, and dash the other player's plans to incapacitate them. These conflicts should stay within the realm of one-up-manship, and not spill over into physical fights (unless it would be much funnier for it to do so).
- Next will be Sarah herself. You'd be looking to wear down her defensive cliches - whether you lay them out as "Ivory-Towered Ice Queen", "Kind-Hearted Party Girl", or "Dirty Sexy Femme Fatale", her Cliches will determine the appropriate course of action - whether it's acting the chump and taking her bait, or talking about your volunteer work at the Shelter For War-Orphaned Kittens.
- There will also be unrelated conflicts - convincing your boss you're working, not flirting, or attempting to get to the florists and back in your incredibly restrictive lunch break. Other players may even try and add problems to these plans, adding an extra layer of conflict to the proceedings (in essence, forming a Team/Grunt Squad with the Obstacle, with the usual rules applying).
- Once one of you secures the date, it's not plain sailing - the other players can team up and attempt to ruin your date, through the most ridiculous means possible (for this, I might advise giving the winning player a slight boost in Cliche power to avoid being hosed instantly).