Friday, 23 March 2012

A Hireling Table!

Inspired by The Dungeon Dozen, I thought I'd put together a table of unusual henchmen and hirelings that have been floating about in my brain for a while.

These are designed for Risus, so each acts as a 3-dice Companion/Henchman (by the rules presented in the Risus Companion)

Roll a d12!

While searching for packmules meatshields trapbait new friends, you find...

1. Tann The Tinkerer: A Gnome Techno-Magician, always fiddling and creating the strangest of contraptions. Will end up costing you a little extra gold, as he buys reagents, mechanical parts, and to post bail when his Mecha-Goat-Asaur goes on its inevitable rampage.
Crazy Prepared Tinker Gnome (3)

2. Gak, Bak, and Sak, Goblin Gymnastics Trio: Lost from some bizarre circus, these three goblins act as one, and their high-flying moves can provide extremely useful in a fight. Will end up costing a little less gold, due to the fact they'll eat scraps, paper, rocks, and household pets.
Perfectly Choreographed Flying Goblins (3)

3. Bjorn the HUGE: A Half-Giant gladiator from some far-off land, Bjorn is a terrifying opponent to meet in battle. Standing a full 8-feet tall, he can dispatch all but the strongest of enemies with a well-placed blow. Used to a life of luxury - eats only the finest foods, wears silken robes and excessively tacky jewellery, to show the wealth he has accumulated from his bouts. Expect to expend a lot of gold keeping this one around.
Enormous Vain Half-Giant Gladiator (3)

4. Stannis, The Hobo King: Some men lose everything, and end their days alone in the gutter. For Stannis, this was the beginning. He found his natural thriftiness and skill for survival would lead him to become the tip-top of the bottom of the barrell - his skills and sneaking, thieving, begging, and survival would put many a rich man to shame. He generally requests nothing but a place to sleep and food for the day, and the company of fine gentlemen such as yourselves, of course.
Dirty Stinking Hobo Genius (3)

5. Korthag, Orc Huntsman/Chef: exiled from his tribe for daring to prepare the Chieftan roast vegetables to go with his half a cow, Korthag likes to hunt, kill, and cook his own food. Will manage to find food sources in even the most unlikely of places (not that he'll make them appetizing, but they'll certainly be edible).
Orc Woodsman With 5 Michelin Stars (3)

6. "Pesci", Touchy Rogue: previosuly a member of one of the larger Thieve's Guilds, the Halfling Pesci was raised to be paranoid. While he was not raised to flip out at the slightest provocation, he still manages it. Expect to have to bail him out, help him bury the bodies, and dodge the law, but expect great monetary returns on his "great finds" (from other people's houses).
Hair-Trigger Mafioso Midget (3)

7. Moore "The Mumbler", Sage of Many Words (Few Comprehensible): Moore might have been the victim of some curse to remove hisability to speak clearly, or might have been raised without proper diction, but either way, he's a man who knows everything. Just ask him, and you'll get a five-hundred word answer. Now, you just have to figure out what the Hell he's saying... Never seen without his pipe, spewing noxious fumes that could choke a Smoke Mephit, and keeps his hair and apperance in what can best be described as "Alan Moore in the wild".
Wild-Haired Incomprihensible Master Sage (3)

8. Chormsley, The Baby-Eating Bishop of Bath and Welles: A ridiculously corrupt official of the Church of Pelor, who has somehow managed to retain some of his Clerical gifts. In his own words, he'd "do anything to anything - animal, vegetable, mineral", and claims to be "a colossal pervert". Will cost you gold through his... unusual tastes and most likely bail money (for crimes against decency), but is a top-notch frontline fighter, and can still bring a little Divine magic to bear.
Fire and Brimstone and Women and Sheep and Wine... (3)

9. Skel, Nupperibo (Least Devil): Kicked out of the Nine Hells for being worse than useless, this horrid, fat little beast can be bound to your service using his true name (sadly for him, it's just "Skel", which he'll tell you, if you ask). While he'll try his best to make a twisting, labyrinthine contract to end up screwing you over, he'll find it hard to sign his name on the sheet, never mind make a bloody contract... But, he can be surprisingly useful, in the right situation...
Horrible Little Devilbastard (3)

10. "Fabulous" Enrique, Entertainer Extrordinare: Bard, Jester, Lover, Swashbuckler, expert stylist... this Fabio-lookalike has it all. And he's willing to share, for a price - gold, women, and drink. He may seem somewhat... eccentric, but he'll no doubt prove his worth many times over as a Jack-of-all-Trades (all of them stylish). His tastes might run expensive, but hey - he can always seduce a Noblewoman or two...
Fabulously Suave Swashbuckling Legend (3)

11. Dave The Chosen One: Favourite of the Gods, Chosen One, Named By The Prophecy, moistened bints lobbing mystical scimitars at him, the works - but Dave hasn't noticed so far. A poor, funny-looking farmer's son, he's happy to be your torchbearer (eager, in fact, to serve) - and perhaps one day he'll awaken to his birthright. Not bloody likely, but still...
Clueless Pawn of Fate (3)

12. Johan Mathbeard, Dwarven Accountant: Worshipper of Vergadain, Dwarven God of Wealth and Luck, Johan is a master accountant, capable of impressively creative acts of truth ("Well, let's see, that'll be 50 gold each for clearing out the Kobolds, plus ammunition, supplies, repairs, healing, overtime, resurrections, window tax, dungeon tax, Dwarf Tax, Holy Tax of Vergadin, Tax Tax... that comes to 9,573 gold, split between the four of us"), and he's no slouch in the combat department. He'll cost you to hire, but seriously, he'll rake it back in in any civilised setting.
Holy Taxman and Creative Accountant of The God of Wealth (3)

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