Random Table: You Find Some... Meat

Yes, I'm in a weird Random Table mood.

Many humanoid creatures are known for not being too choosy what they eat. They can survive on the barest of rations, heartily supplemented by scraps of meat they find or take from kills and dry in their lairs.

Should your players locate such a lair, and such a food supply, roll on the table!

1. Dog/Wolf - stringy, tough, tasteless
2. Horse - succulent, tough, smells good
3. Rat - not as bad as you'd think, brownish, chewy
4. Small Bird (pigeon, chicken) - white meat, gamey
5. Large Bird (ostrich, roc) - strong taste, white meat, soft
6. Snake - white, fishy, 25% chance of being poisonous
7. Boar - strong-smelling, tasty, sweet, dark red meat
8. Cow - you know beef!
9. Rabbit - gamey, tough, tasty
10. Monstrous Humanoid - tough, smells terrible, full of protein
11. Human/Demi-Human - roll on table below
12. Magical Creature - varies, roll on table below

Sub-Table: Human/Demi-Human Meat
1. Human - tastes just like pork
2. Elf - light, almost white meat, delicious
3. Dwarf - tough, dark, chewy, tastes faintly of alcohol
4. Gnome - tough, salty, gives off a mild magical aura
5. Halfling - light, tender, soft
6. Half-Orc - tough, tastes weird, full of protein

Sub-Table: Magical Creature
These meats have not only been dried, but preserved with various magical reagents to keep some of the animal's natural magical properties. If you roll these while stocking a dungeon, try having some of the smarter monsters eat these before battle.
1. Salamander - slimy, chewy, grants Fire Resistance 5 for 30 minutes
2. Displacer Beast - tasteless, stringy, grants +2 dodge bonus to AC for 30 minutes
3. Blink Dog - stringy, tangy, grants Dimension Door 3 times within 30 minutes
4. Darkmantle - rank, slimy, overpowering, grants +3 bonus to Hide and Move Silently for 30 minutes
5. Phase Spider - white, gritty, grants See Ethereal for 30 minutes
6. Remorhaz - gritty, always warm, slimy, grants Burning Hands 3 times within 30 minutes
7. Frost Wurm - crunchy, always freezing cold, grants Cone of Cold 3 times within 30 minutes
8. Gorgon - very tough, crunchy, grants a +3 bonus to Fortitude saves/Save vs. Paralysis for 30 minutes
9. Lesser Demon/Tiefling - grants a +1 profane bonus to-hit for 30 minutes
10. Lesser Celestial/Aasimar - grants a +3 bonus to all saving throws for 30 minutes
11. Chaos Beast - grants 1 random mutation (make yourself a table, or borrow one from somewhere)
12. Doppelganger - grants Alter Self 3 times within 30 minutes

Remember - many of these creatures are sentient, and knowingly devouring their flesh is considered an Evil act.