... and, in the interests of getting myself back into writing regular updates, I am jumping right on his one!
For those of you who don't know...
So I have a few days catchup to do...
Showing posts with label ADnD 2e. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ADnD 2e. Show all posts
Tuesday, 3 September 2013
Monday, 8 July 2013
Jotunbrud - A Race For 2e AD&D
Jotunbrud are demi-humans who have the blood of Frost Giants in their veins. As the Frost Giants (or Jotun, as they are known) possess some degree of magical aptitude, some have been known to take human form, and breed with other races for unknown reasons. Occasionally, these trysts can produce a hybrid child, which possesses only a fraction of the Jotun's power, but more than enough to set them apart from the common man.
Jotunbrud vary in height, but few are below 6' 6", with some reaching 8 or 9 foot tall. Many have a much darker skintone than their Frost Giant progenitors - a deep blue, rather than "frosted" ice-white. In Jotunbrud communities (rare as they are), and in the case of most individuals, ritual scarification is a common practice, decorating their skin with fine, oddly precise marks and patterns denoting tribal alliance, past deeds, and social standing.
Jotunbrud receive a +1 bonus to Strength and Intelligence, but also receive a -2 penalty to Charisma. While the blood of giants grants them strength and hardiness, and the natural magical ability of the Jotun gives them a sharp intellect, their unusual looks and somewhat alien mindset makes them less able to get along with those of other races.
Due to their size, they take damage as a Large-sized creature, and are capable of using weapons designed for larger creatures with some effort (a -1 penalty to attack rolls). This also applies to armour - most will need to be specially fitted for the Jotunbrud (being larger than a Medium sized creature, but unable to wear the armour of a true Large-sized creature). This adds 15% to the normal price of such items.
A Jotunbrud character has the following level limits:
Fighter 10
Thief Unlimited
Illusionist 15
They may also multi-class as Fighter/Thieves, Fighter/Illusionists, Illusionist/Thieves and Fighter/Illusionist/Thieves.
A Jotunbrud character requires the following ability scores:
Strength 9/19
Dexterity 3/16
Constitution 6/18
Intelligence 6/18
Wisdom 3/18
Charisma 3/16
My take on the Marvel Cinematic Universe's version of the Frost Giants, for a little fun and to add some more possible races to The Wall campaign.
Sunday, 5 May 2013
Welcome To The Wall - ASoIaF By Way of 2e AD&D...
So, the weather outside is frightful, and it recently snowed in Glasgow for about two weeks straight. Between that, and playing Skyrim and watching the new season of Game of Thrones, snow has been on my mind for a while, and I decided to follow through with one of my New Years Resolution to try a game I have never tried before.
Put all these together, and you get... The Wall.
"Welcome to the Wall, boys. You are here not as a punishment, but to perform a great service to the Kingdom. The fact you are thieves, rustlers, liars, cheats, bastards and outcasts, who have been sent to the frozen arsehole of the Kingdom is coincidental, surely. This Wall marks the end of our hold on the land. Beyond it, there are savages, The Restless Dead, and creatures you thought only lived in your grandmother's scary tales. The Black Watch's job, our job, is to man this Wall, and keep those fuckers out."
The game borrows liberally from both A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones and Skyrim, to create something almost entirely unoriginal, but at the same time a lot of fun. Hopefully, at least.
Players have been inducted into the Black Watch - once seen as an honour, one of the highest accolades a warrior can receive, to protect the Kingdom from the weird horrors of the Frozen North. As these Horrors stayed quiet for a few generations, many believe them to be gone (or to have never existed in the first place), leaving many feeling the Black Watch is an artifact of an age of superstition and unenlightened men. Hence, instead of sending great sending of criminals (mainly traitors to the crown, the dishonoured, bastard children of nobles, and those who want to be shown as an example).
I am currently swithering over which races will be available - I am considering sticking to Humans only. I can maybe see Half-Orcs, Half-Elves, maybe even Mul (Half-Dwarves) and Half-Giants/Half Ogres (the Wildlings in ASoIaF did have Giants among their numbers,after all...).
Players can choose from the Fighter, Ranger, Thief, and Wizard classes. Fighters will be most common,with Thieves and Rangers not too far behind. In order to help differentiate these relatively limited roles, each class will have a list of Kits (and optional rules) available to them.
However, to emulate the low-magic feeling of the ASoIaF universe, and to make the game that little bit more challenging, I am thinking about proposing a few rules for the use of magic - though I am not sure what yet. Ability checks to cast spells, a strict enforcement of material components (though they might be changed from the originals), limited access to spells, maybe even limited advancement - any NPC spellcasters will be low-level, maybe even with limits on their Intelligence scores to help keep higher-level spells out of reach. This is a game where the day is won by grit, determination and steel - not with a flabby sorcerer throwing a few spells around.
I also imagine that there would only be one (or no) Magic-Users in a group-after all, they are a valuable resource that can't be wasted. After all, most mages who commit crimes are either press-ganged into more valuable military service, or else sentenced to death. You really need just the right combination of military uselessness, lack of honour, and circumstance to end up a Wizard in the Black Watch.
Those caught practising unlicensed necromancy (using a few of the rules from the Complete Book of Necromancers) are always a good option. Their abilities to control and affect Undead creatures are much-valued when facing the Restless Dead beyond The Wall.
More on this setting as I think about it...
Put all these together, and you get... The Wall.
![]() |
| HBO's A Game of Thrones |
The game borrows liberally from both A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones and Skyrim, to create something almost entirely unoriginal, but at the same time a lot of fun. Hopefully, at least.
Players have been inducted into the Black Watch - once seen as an honour, one of the highest accolades a warrior can receive, to protect the Kingdom from the weird horrors of the Frozen North. As these Horrors stayed quiet for a few generations, many believe them to be gone (or to have never existed in the first place), leaving many feeling the Black Watch is an artifact of an age of superstition and unenlightened men. Hence, instead of sending great sending of criminals (mainly traitors to the crown, the dishonoured, bastard children of nobles, and those who want to be shown as an example).
I am currently swithering over which races will be available - I am considering sticking to Humans only. I can maybe see Half-Orcs, Half-Elves, maybe even Mul (Half-Dwarves) and Half-Giants/Half Ogres (the Wildlings in ASoIaF did have Giants among their numbers,after all...).
Players can choose from the Fighter, Ranger, Thief, and Wizard classes. Fighters will be most common,with Thieves and Rangers not too far behind. In order to help differentiate these relatively limited roles, each class will have a list of Kits (and optional rules) available to them.
- Fighters get the Tight Weapon Groups Proficiency, Style Specialisation/Fighting Style bonuses, and the following Kits:
- Barbarian (Wildling only), Berserker, Myrmidon, Noble Warrior, Savage (Wildling only), Wilderness Warrior (Wildling only)
- Rangers gain access to the following Kits:
- Explorer, Falconer (redone as the Crow Keeper), Feralan (Wildling only), Justifier (Black Watch only), Pathfinder, Stalker
- Thieves gain access to the following kits:
- Acrobat, Assassin, Bandit, Scout, Thug
However, to emulate the low-magic feeling of the ASoIaF universe, and to make the game that little bit more challenging, I am thinking about proposing a few rules for the use of magic - though I am not sure what yet. Ability checks to cast spells, a strict enforcement of material components (though they might be changed from the originals), limited access to spells, maybe even limited advancement - any NPC spellcasters will be low-level, maybe even with limits on their Intelligence scores to help keep higher-level spells out of reach. This is a game where the day is won by grit, determination and steel - not with a flabby sorcerer throwing a few spells around.
I also imagine that there would only be one (or no) Magic-Users in a group-after all, they are a valuable resource that can't be wasted. After all, most mages who commit crimes are either press-ganged into more valuable military service, or else sentenced to death. You really need just the right combination of military uselessness, lack of honour, and circumstance to end up a Wizard in the Black Watch.
Those caught practising unlicensed necromancy (using a few of the rules from the Complete Book of Necromancers) are always a good option. Their abilities to control and affect Undead creatures are much-valued when facing the Restless Dead beyond The Wall.
More on this setting as I think about it...
Thursday, 18 April 2013
The Triumphant Return! With Artwork By Tony DiTerlizzi!
So, I've been a little waylaid with illness, work, and hospital trips, so I've fell behind on the blog.
This will not stand!
So, to start us off - some Tony DiTerlizzi artwork, and some art-critique from a man who couldn't get into art school, and so became a scientist.
Now what would a Halfling want with a massive, hungry-looking cobra? I have no idea, but I can think of a ton of suggestions. Firstly, he's clearly in discourse with it - not the feared expression of someone trying to convince it not to eat him. He seems open, relaxed, even - like he's attempting to barter with it. What would a sentient cobra want to buy? Or what could it be selling?
The main reason that I like this is that I plan on introducing a Stygia-equivalent into the next old-school game I run, with full rules for snake-clerics and weird magics based off human sacrifice. Part of that would be the massive snakes rumoured to lurk in the depths of the land - ancient, intelligent creatures, favoured as pets to dark sorcerers. The idea of a race of intelligent snakes has always been pretty cool to me, especially filling the role of creepy conduits to the dark Gods of a forbidding continent. This pic just gives me ideas about how to make them more "humanised".
Apparently, this is a Tasked Genie from the Al-Quadim setting, but to me she looks far too human. Not a bad thing - she demonstrates DiTerlizzi's fantastic fashion sense. Each element of the outfit flows with the rest, and makes for a great Thief-type, "street smart" character. The style fits surprisingly well with the artwork DiTerlizzi would produce for Planescape, one of the most fantastically-illustrated fantasy settings of all time. The mix of neo-Victorian, Renaissance, and a more modern eye towards composition make the DiTerlizzi fashion choices a little dated, but in a charmingly retro way.
When DiTerlizzi was pulled to illustrate the 2e Monster Manual, it was a breath of fresh air from the somewhat lacking quality of 1st Ed/AD&D's artwork. While they got across more character than later artists, the less than professional quality of the art made the whole game feel a little... gonzo.
DiTerlizzi, however, brought both character and great technical talent together, to create an almost fairytale feeling to the game. Take, for example, this Helmed Horror - a classic D&D "trap" monster.
"The room is bare, aside from several suits of armour, all alike."
"I try and see if the suit of armour will fit me, or if I can scavenge some parts of it for myself."
"As you lay hands on it, it turns and takes a swing at you. Roll initiative!"
Now, modern artists will go down the root of an obviously evil suit of ridiculously spiky armour with evil fire pouring out the eyeholes and a gnarly-looking weapon. But DiTerlizzi's take on it has a whole lot of charm. It looks like a suit of armour you might find lying around - and that's the point of the monster. It's not something that looks obviously evil, because then it would be entirely pointless. It's designed to catch you out. A nicely understated piece. It does, however, highlight one of the issues I do have with DiTerlizzi's style - all his weapons are so thin. That sword looks like a rapier/foil, and not a particularly sturdy one at that. Go check more of his art, and count how many of the weapons look like they'll break at a strong breeze.
This guy is a Sandman. He's a man, made of sand. Yeah. However, Al-Quadim being the weird, Arabian Nights-type place it is, he's also an evil slaver who puts people to sleep before kidnapping them. It saddens me to say that Ive seen weirder monsters, but there you go.
What I like about this guy is that he's pretty much a perfect fit for the Dust Genasi race - from the awkward angles of his head, down to his dour expression and slightly "gritty" texture (DiTerlizzi love him some good linework), he looks pretty awesome.
Now we get to one of my favourite pieces - a linnorm (a massive, dragon-like wyrm from Norse mythology). Where other artists have made them just look like big, ratty, extra-evil dragons, DiTerlizzi's linnorm looks positively ancient, a true ancestor to the great Dragons - something different, yet recognisable. The shaggy hair and almost root-like tail help to add to the sense of age, and the mottled skin looks really good in DiTerlizzi's ink-and-wash style.While they are not as intelligent as dragons, this specimen seems to at least hold a sense of cunning - the hint of a smile and the extended finger make it look like it's just caught some unwary adventurers in a lie, or perhaps is about to reveal some less-than-wanted news. All in, a pretty cool piece.
So yeah - I advise you go check out Tony DiTerlizzi's website, or, if you can get a hold of them, dig out some of his 2nd Ed work. It's awesome and you won't regret it!
This will not stand!
So, to start us off - some Tony DiTerlizzi artwork, and some art-critique from a man who couldn't get into art school, and so became a scientist.
![]() |
| "Yess, my good gentledwarf, finest Salarian Mind-Wyrms. I ssqueezzed them mysself jusst thiss afternoon. Ffive jink. Or perhhapss the Yithhian crystal is more to Ssirs liking, eh? Only 20 sstingers." |
Did you ever need a truly pimpin' Mind Flayer for your Planescape game? Simply add fez. Seriously though, this Ulithard looks like the most perfect trader in the more unusual of magical artifacts in any Planescape/Spelljammer game. DiTerrlizi adds little touches and artifacts of a character who does stuff outside their image (the fez, the useful-looking pouches), that creates a real sense of character - not just some unrealistically-proportioned model in barely-there armour sneering menacingly and swinging the most impractical-looking sword you ever laid eyes on (Wayne Reynolds, I am looking at you so fucking hard right now)... I mean, compare the above with this:
![]() |
| I smoulder with generic rage. |
I mean, just fucking look at it. It shares more than a few things with the DiTerlizzi piece, things I applauded not but a few lines ago. For example, those "little touches" that spruce up a piece of artwork, and add character - this guy here has a billion of them. The little rings on his clothes, the weird "many-belts" wrist guards, the dagger and potion on his belt, and the wands at his hip, and his little fire-bird-bat-thing, and his awesome, cool, impractical-looking sword, and...
There's just way too much stuff going on. It distracts from any one of thee elements, making a mish-mash of half-formed ideas about what this character does.
Also, his right hand. Look at it. Look real hard. Hands do not work that way. Like... is that a pinky or a thumb at the right-hand side there? The artist certainly doesn't know. And, for that matter, do pecs or chests ever look like that, barring shit like Marfan's Syndrome? Also, why does he have little clip-clop cloven feet? Dude's ostensibly human, but look how tiny his little feet are!
Now what would a Halfling want with a massive, hungry-looking cobra? I have no idea, but I can think of a ton of suggestions. Firstly, he's clearly in discourse with it - not the feared expression of someone trying to convince it not to eat him. He seems open, relaxed, even - like he's attempting to barter with it. What would a sentient cobra want to buy? Or what could it be selling?
The main reason that I like this is that I plan on introducing a Stygia-equivalent into the next old-school game I run, with full rules for snake-clerics and weird magics based off human sacrifice. Part of that would be the massive snakes rumoured to lurk in the depths of the land - ancient, intelligent creatures, favoured as pets to dark sorcerers. The idea of a race of intelligent snakes has always been pretty cool to me, especially filling the role of creepy conduits to the dark Gods of a forbidding continent. This pic just gives me ideas about how to make them more "humanised".
Apparently, this is a Tasked Genie from the Al-Quadim setting, but to me she looks far too human. Not a bad thing - she demonstrates DiTerlizzi's fantastic fashion sense. Each element of the outfit flows with the rest, and makes for a great Thief-type, "street smart" character. The style fits surprisingly well with the artwork DiTerlizzi would produce for Planescape, one of the most fantastically-illustrated fantasy settings of all time. The mix of neo-Victorian, Renaissance, and a more modern eye towards composition make the DiTerlizzi fashion choices a little dated, but in a charmingly retro way.
When DiTerlizzi was pulled to illustrate the 2e Monster Manual, it was a breath of fresh air from the somewhat lacking quality of 1st Ed/AD&D's artwork. While they got across more character than later artists, the less than professional quality of the art made the whole game feel a little... gonzo.
DiTerlizzi, however, brought both character and great technical talent together, to create an almost fairytale feeling to the game. Take, for example, this Helmed Horror - a classic D&D "trap" monster.
"The room is bare, aside from several suits of armour, all alike."
"I try and see if the suit of armour will fit me, or if I can scavenge some parts of it for myself."
"As you lay hands on it, it turns and takes a swing at you. Roll initiative!"
Now, modern artists will go down the root of an obviously evil suit of ridiculously spiky armour with evil fire pouring out the eyeholes and a gnarly-looking weapon. But DiTerlizzi's take on it has a whole lot of charm. It looks like a suit of armour you might find lying around - and that's the point of the monster. It's not something that looks obviously evil, because then it would be entirely pointless. It's designed to catch you out. A nicely understated piece. It does, however, highlight one of the issues I do have with DiTerlizzi's style - all his weapons are so thin. That sword looks like a rapier/foil, and not a particularly sturdy one at that. Go check more of his art, and count how many of the weapons look like they'll break at a strong breeze.
This guy is a Sandman. He's a man, made of sand. Yeah. However, Al-Quadim being the weird, Arabian Nights-type place it is, he's also an evil slaver who puts people to sleep before kidnapping them. It saddens me to say that Ive seen weirder monsters, but there you go.
What I like about this guy is that he's pretty much a perfect fit for the Dust Genasi race - from the awkward angles of his head, down to his dour expression and slightly "gritty" texture (DiTerlizzi love him some good linework), he looks pretty awesome.
Now we get to one of my favourite pieces - a linnorm (a massive, dragon-like wyrm from Norse mythology). Where other artists have made them just look like big, ratty, extra-evil dragons, DiTerlizzi's linnorm looks positively ancient, a true ancestor to the great Dragons - something different, yet recognisable. The shaggy hair and almost root-like tail help to add to the sense of age, and the mottled skin looks really good in DiTerlizzi's ink-and-wash style.While they are not as intelligent as dragons, this specimen seems to at least hold a sense of cunning - the hint of a smile and the extended finger make it look like it's just caught some unwary adventurers in a lie, or perhaps is about to reveal some less-than-wanted news. All in, a pretty cool piece.
So yeah - I advise you go check out Tony DiTerlizzi's website, or, if you can get a hold of them, dig out some of his 2nd Ed work. It's awesome and you won't regret it!
Sunday, 3 March 2013
Let's Read: The AD&D Book of Sex
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| Art by Psycho Tiyal via WTF, D&D!? |
Well.
It's about as immature as I imagined, but there are a few stand-out pieces (both positive and negative)...
To start - the act itself. A character can last as many rounds as his Constitution score - after that, they need to start making Constitution checks (with a cumulative penalty) to keep going. Which, to me, seems... a little short. You really have to be some super-tough Adonis to last half an hour in bed? And then, there are the chances of orgasm (only 1 in 10 for women?) However, it does also list bonuses from Dexterity (representing flexibility and "knowing how to use it"), Strength and Charisma (less about looks, more about confidence), which means that even an average Joe has a decent chance to achieve a thoroughly decent innings, and even those with various stat handicaps can still do the Vertical Mambo with some aplomb.
Still - when has it been worth counting exactly how long your character managed to have sex? Most of the time, I handle sex with a "fade to black", and would find players who demanded more information in a friendly social setting to be a little disruptive, not to mention creepy. Then again, should the party Barbarian ever challenge the Bard to a wenching competition, I now know exactly how to adjudicate it. I kinda wish I didn't, but there you go.
The Bitch Rule stands out as a particularly egregious example of the immaturity in the document. Did you ever feel the need to roleplay a character with terrible PMS? Well, now can do so - and add some mechanical support, too! Surely, if you really feel the need to add such a dimension to your character (and, seriously, good luck doing so without hogging the spotlight and engaging in player-baiting behaviour), you could surely do so without having to roll to see just how bad your PMS is? Hell, I know plenty of people who suffer terribly around their time of the month, and I find this just a tad offensive.
There is also an example, from a player of the DM's who used these rules to engage in some rather disruptive bullshit behaviour. Way to prove how cool these rules are, guys.
There is also an extended section on the Seduction Roll - and, surprisingly, it's not bad! It adds various factors to the roll as modifiers and penalties, and gives a nice chance to seduce instead of simply rolling a flat Charisma check. I'd only really use it during a seduction-heavy game (like a high-political game, or maybe a Thieves Guild game, where such actions can affect the future layout of the campaign).
There's a table of sexually transmitted diseases you could catch, and the percentages of a population who are carriers for such diseases (PROTIP: NEVER go screwing in a small, lower-class village. About 40% of the people there have the clap), as well as the strange chance to develop a "sexual madness" - basically, hyper-niche fetishes. I'm... not really sure how one is more likely to catch a "mental" problem from unprotected sex, but there you go.
There's also the Magical STDs section - holy shit what.
"Acidic Secration (sic)- The sexual partner receives 2d8 points of damage on any round (DM's choice) during each sexual encounter."
Dude, a 1st level Commoner can die in like 2 rounds with a housecat. What the fuck is this shit?
"Orgasmatic Polymorph - Upon an orgasm, the inflicted polymorphs into another creature, save those that are noncoporeal, from as small as wren to as large as a hippopotamus. Furthermore the victim gains its physical mode of locomotion and breathing as well. No system shock is required. This affect does not give the new form's other abilities, nor does it run the risk of changing personality and mentality. The duration of the polymorph is 1 turn per constitution point."
...
"Kursk, we need to cross this chasm, but we have no way to fly across!"
"Don't worry, Dallara - I have visited the Brothel of Many Things, and left with a new gift..." *unzips*
...right.
And, for those times when a player really needs to know exactly what the hooker he picked up is like, the document includes a Random Prostitute Generator!
It's a bit more in depth than that - it includes stats, weight and height, available "services"...
The new spells are a mixed bag. Some might see some use, or make for particularly flavoursome choices (pardon the pun). But there's a few which are somewhat dubious...
Sex Change - "The DM must make sure the victim of the spell acts in the manner appropriate to the sex. If not, then the spell doesn't really seem powerful."
So, you have to make sure the player plays to the basest stereotypes of their new gender? The Barbarian now has to feel broody and worry about breaking her nails? The Wizard must lech on every female in sight, now that she's a he? Don't like.
Mordenkainen's Lubrication, Know Sexual Preference, and Sterility as Cantrips are all fine by me, and might just make it into my games.
Power Word: Castrate - what is this I don't even... why?
There are quite a few spells which are marked "Kiss of X", which are basically touch-range spells with a little more oomph than those of a similar level (balanced out by having to get really up close and personal with the target). These are fine, and could be a cool addition to a Bard's Spell List.
But the one which really, really freaks me out?
Summon Cissaldan (Conjuration/Summoning)
(As in Harlan Ellison's short "How's the Night Life On Cissalda?")
Level: 9
Range: 30 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 9
Area of Effect: None
Saving Throw: None
The casting of this spell will cause an interdimensional connection between the world of the spell caster and the alternate world of the Cissaldans. The utterance of this spell attracts one Cissaldan which will come through the connection and attack whomever the spell caster directs the spell against. The recipient has an immediate desire to "do a disgusting thing with a disgusting thing" and will fall upon the Cissaldan with much vigor. The recipient will not be able to do or say anything else since his or her complete concentration is centered on the Cissaldan. The two will continue to copulate until the recipient dies of starvation. There is no known way of separating someone (or something since the Cissaldans do not discriminate in any way) from a Cissaldan until the recipient dies. After the death of the spell recipient, the Cissaldan will return to the world from which it came. Cissaldans are described as having two penises, two vaginas, and are physically "disgusting" to look at. They, however, love to make love so to speak, and can physically adapt to any sexual physiology.
EWWWWWW! Man, I knew that Ellison was a total pervert, but maaaaaaaaaaaan that's nasty... and what purpose would this spell serve that a little Finger of Death wouldn't, in a far less disgusting way? I mean, no save is pretty good, but... ew.
Now, onto "Magic Items Your Mom Wouldn't Approve Of", a list that varies between useful and offensive quicker than Bernard Manning with an engineering degree.
The Lipsticks of the Houri grant those Kiss of X spells, anywhere between 5 and 30 times (5 applications, 1d6 kisses per application). Pretty good, for between 1000-9000gp. I can see these showing up for that Bard I mentioned earlier... or being back-planted into 1E, where they had a Houri Class (which was also pretty cool).
The Ring of the Bulls gives you a massive knob.
Die Roll Ring Type Effect
1-5 Calf Add 1/3 of the size
6-9 Young Add 1/2 of the size
10-11 Bull Double the size
12 THE BEAST Triple the size <- dangerous
For some reason, the little arrow makes me think it's a hand-written note by some amateur mage who passed out from blood loss the first time he tried it...
The various items against pregnancy (including a Ring of Protection that... doesn't go on your finger) are decent - I would include them as flavour in most campaigns (like Pathfinder's Gentleman's Snuff).
Then there's the Sword of Castration, which is like a Voral Sword... only not. The Underwear of Chastity, bane of all Bards, is your standard magical chastity belt. Fairly sure I can find a use for that in any game.
After that, we get to the Houri Kit for Wizards - with another new special rule for seduction, and a few negatives. A nice little Kit, though I would see it as a better option for Bards than Wizards, but hey - horses for courses and all that.
Then, there's the full prostitute generator, and a list of ways to stat up a brothel (including a nice sample House of Ill Repute), a list of "Sexy Monsters" for other sources, and a table to roll on to see what kind of porn you find raiding a humanoid's lodgings. None of which I would personally use, but there you go.
To finish off, there's a handful of weak adventure ideas, and a pair of "happy" (in the sense of a Happy Ending) and "touching" (in the sense of BAD TOUCH) tales from sexy games the writer had run before.
All in - I've found a handful (if that) of redeemable features, most of which wouldn't require anywhere near as much detail as this guy seems to want to go into.
All in, the e-book is a 4 out of 10 - could try harder.
Saturday, 16 February 2013
The "Mellified Men" - an OSR Monster!
So, a little last minute, but here's my entry for The Grand Original Map Contest!
These guys will be statted out for OSRIC/Generic OSR D&D.
Centuries ago, there was a race of men, their name lost to the ravages of time, who worshipped nature in all its myriad forms. However, every so often a cult would arise to venerate one particular aspect of nature above all others - the deeps of the sea, fire, or in one case, the humble bee.
Well, the not so humble bee - this particular cult had found a species of bee whose honey held strange properties. It seemed to both radiate and absorb magic, and could "store" spells cast into it. Whether this was a natural mutation, the design of some curious wizard or divine intervention, the cult latched onto this new-found source of power, and began breeding and keeping the bees, collecting their honey, and worshipping them as divine agents.
As their belief swelled, and their breeding became more complex and refined, they finally birthed a Queen of such great size that, even as a larva, it dwarfed all but the biggest men. This Queen was seen as an Aspect of The Great Queen - the Mother-God of all bees, if you will. Around her, men and bees constructed a great hive, a labyrinth of honeycomb that stretched for miles underground.
As part of their strange rituals, this cult would add their lesser dead (slaves, drudge workers) to the Great Hive, allowing them to nourish their charges even after they had passed on.
Their more respected members were submerged in the honey vats after death - the honey acting as a preservative, mummifying the corpse with little other work needed.
Their greatest members, their Mages and Priests, were allowed to choose the date of their death. When this date had passed, they began eating nothing but honey - slowly, they would waste away, but their bodies would radiate strongly with magic, as it suffused every fibre of their being. When the finally passed, they were sealed into their own honey-filled casket, and the surviving members of the clergy would perform arcane rites and blasphemous rituals on them to ensure that they would be spared the worst of the ravages of death, to join the Great Queen and become one with the Hive.
However, for some reason (recent surges of magic, disturbance of their resting place, specific alignment of the stars), a few of these Bee-Priests have risen, and have began production once again - and they'll do anything to keep their practices secret.
In terms of appearance, these "Mellified Men" resemble other preserved corpses - their skin is leathery, with a yellow-brown colouring, and surprisingly little obvious decomposition (barring the wasting of muscles, and some of the thinner sections of skin having bones showing through). Some wear jewellery and ornamentation, clearly as part of their burial attire.
The Hive
Even the walls of this place are laced with the corpses of the cultists. Some sections have retained an odd semblance of life, powered and maintained by the power of the honey even after centuries.
Sticky, brittle bones reach out at you as you pass, hoping to serve their Queen from beyond the grave.
No. Encountered: 2d8 metres
Armour Class: 5
Hit Dice: 10HP/5ft
Attacks: Special
Damage: 1d6
Special attacks: See above
Special Defences: Spell immunities
Magic Resistance: Standard
Intelligence: Non-
The Hive Wall does not act as a creature as such, more like a trap - anyone passing within 5 feet must make a Saving Throw vs Breath Weapon or be grappled, and take 1d6 damage per round they are grappled. Once grappled, the character may make a Strength check/Bend Bars roll once per round to escape The Wall's foul clutches, and may take no other action until free.
Drone Zombies
These shambling creatures, taught skin a yellowish-brown hue, seem to be the workers and grunts of the operation. They don't seem too bright.
Use the standard OSRIC Zombie stats, with the following changes:
Special Abilities: Hivemind
Int: Non - Special
Hivemind: In groups of at least 20 other Drone Zombies, each Drone Zombie's Intelligence rises to Low, making them capable of using weapons (change damage as appropriate) and basic ambush tactics. They will still fight to the death.
Hive Guardians
These creatures seem to be infused with a strange intelligence and vitality - they seem less decomposed than their fellows, and are capable of some very complex strategies. These zombies can be seen taking charge of Drone Zombies in non-controlled situations, and when controlled may act as "generals".
Use the standard OSRIC JuJu Zombie stats, with the following changes:
Special Abilities: Hivemind Synapse
Hivemind Synapse: Hive Guardians may grant the effects of Hivemind to groups of Drone zombies numbering less than 20, so long as they remain within 50 feet of the Hive Guardian (line of sight does not affect this ability).
Bee-Priests
These Undead wear fine robes spun from silk, decorated with complex geometric patterns (mostly hexagons), and are decked out in fine jewels. These spellcasting Undead are frequently found leading large groups of other Mellified Zombies from the back, providing support and heavy firepower.
(Turned as type 10)
No. Encountered: 1d4
Size: Man-sized
Move: 120 ft
AC: 1
Hit Dice: 8+3
Attacks: 2
Damage: by weapon or spell
Special Attacks: See below
Special Defences: See below
Magic Resistance: See below
Lair Probability: 25%
Intelligence: Exceptional
Chaotic evil
Level/xp: 8/3,810 + 12/hp
These creatures share other undead’s immunity to charm, hold, and sleep spells. Electricity and cold
does only half damage, and they are unaffected by normal weapons. They also the ability to cast spells either as a Cleric or Wizard of 10th-level. Most will use the Inflict Wounds spells to heal their troops, along with classic offensive spells.
Similar to the Hive Guardians, these creatures possess the Hivemind Synapse ability, except they can maintain it out to 200 feet.
Most of these creatures will travel with a guard of 8d10 Drone Zombies, and 1d10 Hive Guardians.
These guys will be statted out for OSRIC/Generic OSR D&D.
Centuries ago, there was a race of men, their name lost to the ravages of time, who worshipped nature in all its myriad forms. However, every so often a cult would arise to venerate one particular aspect of nature above all others - the deeps of the sea, fire, or in one case, the humble bee. Well, the not so humble bee - this particular cult had found a species of bee whose honey held strange properties. It seemed to both radiate and absorb magic, and could "store" spells cast into it. Whether this was a natural mutation, the design of some curious wizard or divine intervention, the cult latched onto this new-found source of power, and began breeding and keeping the bees, collecting their honey, and worshipping them as divine agents.
As their belief swelled, and their breeding became more complex and refined, they finally birthed a Queen of such great size that, even as a larva, it dwarfed all but the biggest men. This Queen was seen as an Aspect of The Great Queen - the Mother-God of all bees, if you will. Around her, men and bees constructed a great hive, a labyrinth of honeycomb that stretched for miles underground.
As part of their strange rituals, this cult would add their lesser dead (slaves, drudge workers) to the Great Hive, allowing them to nourish their charges even after they had passed on.Their more respected members were submerged in the honey vats after death - the honey acting as a preservative, mummifying the corpse with little other work needed.
Their greatest members, their Mages and Priests, were allowed to choose the date of their death. When this date had passed, they began eating nothing but honey - slowly, they would waste away, but their bodies would radiate strongly with magic, as it suffused every fibre of their being. When the finally passed, they were sealed into their own honey-filled casket, and the surviving members of the clergy would perform arcane rites and blasphemous rituals on them to ensure that they would be spared the worst of the ravages of death, to join the Great Queen and become one with the Hive.
However, for some reason (recent surges of magic, disturbance of their resting place, specific alignment of the stars), a few of these Bee-Priests have risen, and have began production once again - and they'll do anything to keep their practices secret.
In terms of appearance, these "Mellified Men" resemble other preserved corpses - their skin is leathery, with a yellow-brown colouring, and surprisingly little obvious decomposition (barring the wasting of muscles, and some of the thinner sections of skin having bones showing through). Some wear jewellery and ornamentation, clearly as part of their burial attire.
The Hive
Even the walls of this place are laced with the corpses of the cultists. Some sections have retained an odd semblance of life, powered and maintained by the power of the honey even after centuries.
Sticky, brittle bones reach out at you as you pass, hoping to serve their Queen from beyond the grave.
No. Encountered: 2d8 metres
Armour Class: 5
Hit Dice: 10HP/5ft
Attacks: Special
Damage: 1d6
Special attacks: See above
Special Defences: Spell immunities
Magic Resistance: Standard
Intelligence: Non-
The Hive Wall does not act as a creature as such, more like a trap - anyone passing within 5 feet must make a Saving Throw vs Breath Weapon or be grappled, and take 1d6 damage per round they are grappled. Once grappled, the character may make a Strength check/Bend Bars roll once per round to escape The Wall's foul clutches, and may take no other action until free.
Drone Zombies
These shambling creatures, taught skin a yellowish-brown hue, seem to be the workers and grunts of the operation. They don't seem too bright.
Use the standard OSRIC Zombie stats, with the following changes:
Special Abilities: Hivemind
Int: Non - Special
Hivemind: In groups of at least 20 other Drone Zombies, each Drone Zombie's Intelligence rises to Low, making them capable of using weapons (change damage as appropriate) and basic ambush tactics. They will still fight to the death.
Hive Guardians
These creatures seem to be infused with a strange intelligence and vitality - they seem less decomposed than their fellows, and are capable of some very complex strategies. These zombies can be seen taking charge of Drone Zombies in non-controlled situations, and when controlled may act as "generals".
Use the standard OSRIC JuJu Zombie stats, with the following changes:
Special Abilities: Hivemind Synapse
Hivemind Synapse: Hive Guardians may grant the effects of Hivemind to groups of Drone zombies numbering less than 20, so long as they remain within 50 feet of the Hive Guardian (line of sight does not affect this ability).
Bee-Priests
These Undead wear fine robes spun from silk, decorated with complex geometric patterns (mostly hexagons), and are decked out in fine jewels. These spellcasting Undead are frequently found leading large groups of other Mellified Zombies from the back, providing support and heavy firepower.
(Turned as type 10)
No. Encountered: 1d4
Size: Man-sized
Move: 120 ft
AC: 1
Hit Dice: 8+3
Attacks: 2
Damage: by weapon or spell
Special Attacks: See below
Special Defences: See below
Magic Resistance: See below
Lair Probability: 25%
Intelligence: Exceptional
Chaotic evil
Level/xp: 8/3,810 + 12/hp
These creatures share other undead’s immunity to charm, hold, and sleep spells. Electricity and cold
does only half damage, and they are unaffected by normal weapons. They also the ability to cast spells either as a Cleric or Wizard of 10th-level. Most will use the Inflict Wounds spells to heal their troops, along with classic offensive spells.
Similar to the Hive Guardians, these creatures possess the Hivemind Synapse ability, except they can maintain it out to 200 feet.
Most of these creatures will travel with a guard of 8d10 Drone Zombies, and 1d10 Hive Guardians.
Sunday, 3 February 2013
Have You Heard The Blessings Of The Plaguefather?
So, another bout of the Dread Lurgy as laid me low this weekend. But have no fear - I am currently working, in between illnesses and sleeping.
I'm preparing my entry for the Grand Original Map Contest over at Tenkar's Tavern. I don't want to give away too many details, but a conversation with my girlfriend about Mellified Man and insect worship will play a very strong part in the adventure...
Stay tuned for more details!
I'm preparing my entry for the Grand Original Map Contest over at Tenkar's Tavern. I don't want to give away too many details, but a conversation with my girlfriend about Mellified Man and insect worship will play a very strong part in the adventure...
Stay tuned for more details!
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Tuesday, 22 January 2013
SHOCK HORROR NEWS - WotC Re-Release ALL THE PDFs
Yep, they're re-released all the old D&D .pdfs, including a whole host of new ones, over at www.dndclassics.com.
At the start of the lifespan of 4e, WotC removed all the PDFs from their website, citing piracy and other issues as the reason they withdrew. 4e's sales suffered, especially as Paizo continued to release PDFs of all the new Pathfinder content.
I, for one, applaud this move - it's good to see that the OSR movement as picked up enough steam to be picked up by a company currently facing a lot of problems and sniping from all corners.
This should be interesting. I expect WotC's stock to rise in the next few months, just in time for the release of D&DNext...
EDIT: Apparently, there are some issues with PDFs people have purchased previously not being available, but WotC are stating that they intend to release the remaining PDFs "in waves"... time will tell if they hold to their promises!
At the start of the lifespan of 4e, WotC removed all the PDFs from their website, citing piracy and other issues as the reason they withdrew. 4e's sales suffered, especially as Paizo continued to release PDFs of all the new Pathfinder content.
I, for one, applaud this move - it's good to see that the OSR movement as picked up enough steam to be picked up by a company currently facing a lot of problems and sniping from all corners.
This should be interesting. I expect WotC's stock to rise in the next few months, just in time for the release of D&DNext...
EDIT: Apparently, there are some issues with PDFs people have purchased previously not being available, but WotC are stating that they intend to release the remaining PDFs "in waves"... time will tell if they hold to their promises!
Monday, 21 January 2013
AD&D2e - Making the Ruleset
So, this is not a complete set of house rules and optional systems, and let's face it, there's no such thing - especially where the OSR is concerned, there'll always be new, exciting and weird things to throw in.Instead, these posts will act as an accompaniment to my reading of the Massive PDF of ALL The 2nd Edition Books That Are Now Out Of Print, as well as peeks into a few other books not included or otherwise forgotten. When I finally accumulate all the rules I wish to keep/toss out/change, I'll post them up in one (really fucking long) post, or even in a .pdf for the players (and your lovely selves).
So, without any further ado:
- No Racial Minimums - maybe it's coming from the newer generation of gamers, but I like to think that I can pick a Race, and not have to roll to see if I qualify for it (I mean, you're trying to tell me there are no sickly dwarves?)
- Stat Generation - I like players to have some control over their characters, so you have the choice - either 4d6, drop the lowest, and allocate as you wish, or the Class Stat Arrays from the various Complete books, which allow players to play a specific class easily (and come with a host of drawbacks, too).
- Demihuman level limits are out. I don't know how long the game will run (most certainly not long enough for this to be an issue), so this shouldn't come up.
- Sub-Races - the various Complete Race books ensured a proliferation of sub-races that almost matched 3.5's excesses. I'll skim them, and include maybe one or two extra subraces, but not much more than that.
- Complete Book Of Humanoids deserves special mention here, as it's pretty swingy. A few of the races here (Half-Orc, Half-Ogre, maybe the Hobgoblin and Minotaur) are pretty standard and acceptable, but some are just too weird, and some are just plain broken (both over-and-underpowered). Again, I'll skim it and make a list.
- Speciality Priest, and Preists of specific Mythoi, are in. They might be a touch more powerful, but they add some real flavour to the game. Gods and Pantheons are fairly up for grabs at the moment, so I'll take suggestions...
- As for Kits, I'll most likely let the players pick ones they want, then give them a yay or nay. Some of the Kits are a lot more powerful than others, and some aren't that great, but have major repercussions on the game. I don't want Kits that tie a player too strictly to one place or organisation, so I'm currently combing through the Kits to see what ones fit... I'll make that my next post.
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